This may sound like a silly question, but I have to ask, “Did You Really Run 26.2 Miles Together?”

This may sound like a silly question but it is one we hear quite often now as we ‘share our story” with others.   I can understand why we are asked this question as first of all running a marathon is not an easy task let alone figuring out how to accomplish this with your spouse (running every mile together). Combine this with the additional challenges couples now face in communicating with each other with the influx and proliferation of technology in our lives.  Now don’t get me wrong, David and I both work for Microsoft and are advocates of technology.   However as we have both experienced throughout our lives technology has its benefits as well as its disadvantages. As technology becomes more ingrained in everything we do it also provides an outlet or an excuse to not engage in conversation where one doesn’t wish to engage or feels uncomfortable engaging. Many times, creating conflict within relationships.

In the past we have both been in situations with each other where we have said, “You’ve been texting with that person for 45 minutes – couldn’t that have been a five minute conversation instead?  Why not just call them?”    Or even more often, noticing that sometimes when we are together as a family – our kids or other family members tend to be looking at their phones more than they are looking at each other or truly engaged in conversation with us. I am sure you have been in many of the same situations that we have as it has become a challenge for everyone and will only become more difficult as technology starts to be integrated more and more in the clothing that we wear as well as in every aspect of our surroundings. Times are changing.

We also found that our time to relax together was continually be interrupted from the buzzing sounds of our phone from text messages from work, family and friends. This is all part of the new 24 x 7 technology world that we are all living in and the expectations that are presented to us given this new connected world.  While we love our work, friends and family we realized that we need to be able to disconnect or break away from the noise that technology brings into our lives and spend more time focusing on each other and our joint goals.  As a matter of fact, we have made the joint decision that we would spend time every day together without interruptions surfacing through the technology around us (putting our phones away at 6:30 PM) each evening.   This has allowed us to engage in great conversations with each other in a relaxed environment with no interruptions. This has not only improved our communication with each other but has allowed us work towards our joint  goals together (ie. training for a marathon, fishing, playing music, etc.).

So what does this have to do with us “Running 26.2 miles together?” In order to even begin to accomplish this feat together there had to be clear communication channels between us to have conversations about setting goals as well as developing a plan together to achieve those goals. We had to block out time together and put our time together as a priority. We still face this challenge today and will continue to face it in the future as we continue running marathons. Marathons require time, planning and training.

David and I have been setting goals together for many years and I truly believe this is what has enabled us to have successful careers, healthy lifestyles and a fulfilling marriage.   When setting goals together we first ask ourselves, “What is our goal together and how does that impact each other individually?” For instance, setting a goal to run a marathon together seems easy. But when you get right down to it is a very difficult process as it is going to impact each of us individually in a different way. Each of us will have to train differently, think differently and adjust to the others needs in order to be successful two-gether.

One example of this was when we ran the  Napa Valley Marathon using the Galloway 5min/1 min method. David felt that  we should run the first three and then start the 5/1 Galloway method.  I  disagreed with him mainly because that is exactly what Galloway suggests not to do! In fact, it is those first three miles that can affect how you may feel at the end of the race. If you run hard the first three miles (only to gain maybe one minute per mile) the damage you may subject your body to may not be recoverable at mile 18 or 19. However, after stepping back and thinking about this from his position, I understand why he said this. We must complete this marathon in 6 hours as this is the time limit set for the marathon.   Given this, there are parts of me that said “Yes, let’s go get the first three done quickly”, as it is hard anyway in the beginning to implement the 5/1 strategy because everyone is running and no one is walking during the first three.   Even though, in my mind, I know that is not the right way to approach this.   I wanted to show my support and not just shut the door on David’s recommendation. Therefore, I chose to accept his strategy during the Napa Valley Marathon- which ultimately was a success (with a few hurdles- Read Napa Valley Marathon Blogpost).  The ability to listen and be open to your spouse’s thoughts and ideas is important even though you feel the way you wish to approach the situation is the right way.

Our differences in running styles- David likes to analyze and thinks differently about the marathon journey then I do. When we are training he is constantly analyzing our times in his head, calculating what our pace is and what time we will come in at based on our current pace. While he can enjoy the scenery and take it all in at the same time, my mind is the exact opposite. I want to enjoy the run and I do not want to be stressed by time.   As his partner I want to understand his concerns and to try and be the supportive. The best way I have found to manage this is to start working this out in my own individual way and then once I have the outcome (good or bad) on how this will impact me I will present to him and we will work together to define our strategy based on our input together. This goes both ways. I can also tell you that while David does these calculations in his head while we are running – he knows that I really don’t operate that way  and I choose not to know the pace/time – so he just keeps it to himself. When I want to know – I ask him and his response is pretty quick.

Typically, my toughest time during a marathon is the beginning (David is very strong in the beginning) as I struggle with getting my heart rate consistent and my breathing down. David is a fast runner and at the beginning is all about moving fast! So his challenge is figuring out from his own individual perspective how he is going to deal with this in his mind (again he is an analyzer and has everything mapped out in his mind) so that he can also be supportive of me while I need to take it slower in the beginning.   My strength typically (not always) comes at the end (every race is different). Don’t ask me why, I have no clue. It is almost like I get a second wind even though my body has pretty much given out. I really think it is because I know we are almost done and I just want to be finished! So at the end when I am feeling good, David is usually the exact opposite. Again, it is about being empathetic and understanding. It is about supporting him as he supported me in the beginning!

Setting the goal is the first step. Once we decide on the goal and strategy and we are both bought into the approach we are going to take together we also know that there are many outside circumstances that definitely could change our entire plan (especially in a marathon).

The biggest success factor to all of this is that we both appreciate each other for who we are. I am glad he is an analyzer as he can keep us on track as long as he keeps the numbers going in his mind. He knows how sharing the numbers while we are running stresses me out and therefore he agrees and promises he will keep this to himself- until I ask him “are we going to make it?” This is a major step in a marriage and if as a couple you can get this far in understanding each other’s strengths/weaknesses and vulnerabilities and nurture them as appropriate then you will have a very strong marriage. It has taken both of us a long time and open communication channels to get to this point.

We try and apply these principles to everything we do; Understanding our vision or goals together; continue to have our own individual integrity yet have an open attitude towards negotiation and resolution towards a common solution; Understanding how these two-gether goals impact each of us individually. Most importantly having the ability to provide encouragement and empathy along the way as we work towards the common goal.  Last but not least: Have FUN together!

This process and cooperation and appreciation for each other takes a lot of work and is sometimes too difficult or time consuming (based on where a couple is at in their marriage-just having kids, etc.) for many couples to even want to tackle . I believe that the experiences we have gone through in our lives as well as the value we place on the remaining time we have together has enabled us to more easily map out our path together allowing us to enjoy the moments together; good or bad.

So the answer to the question above is Yes.   Yes we have ran 26.2 miles together every step of the way, side by side (and many times in costumes)!  At the end we cross the finish line two-gether holding each other’s hands high up in the air.  We are proud.  Emotion takes over many times, especially when we reflect back on  the training and the struggles we went through to prepare for each of the marathons- two-gether (especially Antarctica and The Inca Trail Marathon).

In addition to the seven continents we have run many other marathons this way. It has not always been easy. We have faced so many challenges together.  You can read about these in our book- Two-Gether! ( You can now order an signed hard copy directly through our website)!

We hope that our book will provide guidance and spark a flame that will enable you to enrich your marriage.  If you want to have a conversation with us or just want to reach out because you want excitement in your marriage and you want guidance on where to start, please reach out! We are more than happy to help!

We hope that you have enjoyed this blog entry and it inspires you and your spouse to take the next steps in your journey’s two-gether!

Below is a great article about the benefits of setting Health Goals together as a couple. http://www.foxnews.com/health/2015/01/20/couples-who-set-health-goals-together-have-more-success-study-suggests/ .

Want a signed copy of our book?- you can purchase a copy here- https://two-gether.net/two-gether/

 

 

Napa Valley Marathon Completed- Overcoming Adversity Two-Gether!

NapaValleyfor Blog Completing the Napa Valley Marathon together definitely demonstrated that if you set your mind to anything you can accomplish it!   Although we did not prepare and train the way we normally would for a marathon (typically 16 weeks of training) we were able to overcome adversities (including weather, work, and demands on our time) and challenges during training as well as on marathon day to once again, cross the finish line two-gether! We travelled to Napa Valley on Friday, February 27th and spent Saturday visiting the Expo as well as Hanna Winery with my sister Kathy and her husband Mike. It was a gorgeous day with temperatures in the mid 60’s – a perfect day for outdoor wine tasting! It was also a great break from the winter weather we have been having back in Nashville this year! That evening we decided to eat early and therefore took advantage of the Pasta Dinner provided by the Marathon. It had everything we needed to carb load and had quite a variety of pasta and desserts. After the dinner – we were ready to get to bed early and rest up for the big day. Marathon Day We woke up at 4 am to a frigid morning with temperatures around 37 degrees. We went through our usual routine of getting ready and headed over to the high school to catch the shuttle bus to the start line up to Calistoga. We had the opportunity the day before to take this same ride in the daylight so we had a glimpse of what the elevation was going to be like as we ran from Calistoga back down to Napa Valley. We arrived at Calistoga about an hour early and luckily were able to stay on the bus to keep warm until about 10 minutes before race start.   The race start was surrounded by grape vines which immediately put us in the environment we would experience all day as we ran throughout the Napa Valley Wine Region. Don’t Ever Change Your Training Prior To a Marathon ! I have been told this several times however the week before the marathon I decided to try something different. I wanted to run faster and therefore started to read up on the elite runners and their form and running styles, etc. I read that most great runners ran at about 180 steps per minute (SPM) and that you should as a runner strive for a high spm between 170-180.   I reviewed my spm over the past year or two years from the data collected on my Garmin watch and found out that my average was around 140-150 spm. So I thought to myself, “What if I can just improve by 10 spm before the marathon?” So for my training the week before the marathon I tried increasing my spm (shorter steps) for my 3 mile training runs. I actually found it to be quite enjoyable and found that it took less energy than my normal stride. I also found that my heart rate stayed lower than normal therefore I must not have been exerting as much energy as I had with my normal stride. My stride over that week increased to about 164 average spm, gaining about 10 spm. I was excited to see this improvement and decided that I would try this out on marathon day. The Problem– Remember, I ran 3 miles (5 times that week) doing about 160 spm. I did not move into my normal stride after that as I ended my exercise at 3 miles each day. As I started out on Marathon day with the 160 spm stride I realized rather quickly that I was not going to be able to keep up that stride. Changing your stride takes a lot of practice and a lot of time to re-train your body. So when I figured out that I would not be able to keep up with that stride – a little bit after mile 1, I decided to move back into my normal stride. Guess what? My body did not know what to do. It did not know how to get back into my normal stride because for the past week all I did was the smaller stride. Big Problem! My feet hit the road hard as I tried to get back into stride (runners were looking at me wondering why I was running so funny and making so much noise). The energy that I expelled to try to get back in stride was overwhelming, my breathing became very erratic, and my mental state was really going downhill quickly. Remember, we were not allowed to wear headphones in this race – so when I hit my problems, I was very concerned that I would not make the finish and I was vocal about it. David heard me and decided to run a bit in front of me to give me a target to run after and so he would not hear my negative comments about not finishing. He also knows that I like to work through my running issues by myself at times. I have to do this on my own at my own pace. I have always succeeded in getting through my issues and yes I am negative for a bit (I am working on this) but always manage to pull myself out of it. I knew that if I did not get back into my regular stride, I would not be able to complete the marathon. The way I was currently running was already impacting my body in a negative way and would end up doing some serious damage to my legs within the next 6 miles if I did not get it fixed. I knew that there was a high likelihood that I would not even make it to mile 13. I continued to struggle for a couple more miles. At four miles I was able to start to move into stride but my left foot (front of foot) was scraping on the ground every time I put that foot forward. I struggled for a good 1.2 mile with this until about mile 5 when I fell! My shoe scuffed on the ground and took my whole body down! I hit pretty hard and felt the impact mainly on my knees. I knew that I would probably be bleeding or have some damage but I also knew that I had lost some time through all this and just needed to get up and get running. David did not know that I fell as he was in front of me and I picked myself up rather quickly. He was surprised later on when I told him because he was continually looking back at me to make sure I was making it okay (he was only about 50 feet in front of me). One girl stopped and asked me if I had new shoes. She had been running by me the entire way and heard the noise my feet were making from trying to get back into normal stride. I explained to her that I was stupid and tried to change my stride the week before.  After falling I was scared to keep running and I will tell you that my mental state was the worst it had been in a long time. I did not think that I would be able to break out of this bad form that I was currently in. But I DID. I cannot tell you exactly at what point I was able to get back into stride. I remember David saying after our first 3 that we needed to get back into pace as we were way behind our time that we were targeting. As I started to focus more on the 5min run/1 min walk my body started to just started to get back into form.   Thank Goodness! David and I were back running side by side by about mile 7 and I was feeling much better about the run in general. After we were past 13 (at 2: 40) my mental state started to take a much more positive turn as I felt good about coming in at that time for the half when we were targeting 2:30. From mile 13 to mile 17 we kept up the 5/1 pace.  From mile 17 on we went into a mode where we walked, ran, walked ran in shorter increments with each mile coming in at about a 12.9 minute pace. At about mile 18, David saw a runner drop a plastic card on the road and continue running. David decided to pick it up and sprint up to her to return it. While that was a nice gesture, when he turned around to find me, I saw the pain on his face. Especially when he figured out it was a hotel room key that she probably could have just replaced anyway. At another point, we stopped to use the restroom – David said just run ahead as soon as you are done and I’ll catch up. When he caught up to me, he remarked, I didn’t think you’d be able to get that far away, that was tough catching back up with you! Maybe that was a much needed break because I really did increase my pace at that point. At one point we followed this runner that had a pace announcer on and told us what pace we were all running at. David told me that we need to stay close to him if we were going to make it in on time. So we ran by him for a good two miles or so. Funny thing is we ended up passing him at some point and never saw him the rest of the race.   I had also fumbled with my watch trying to change my intervals from 5/1 to 3/1 which entirely messed up my watch and wiped all intervals out. From this point on it was all about running as much as our bodies would allow us and David was the one who kept us on track to insure that we finished on time. I had no clue as to the time and I did not want to know. In fact, I asked David at one point how we were doing and what time we would get and he replied – let’s get to Mile 20 and I’ll tell you. I forgot about it for a while and when I asked again – by then we were at mile 23. That time David smiled at me and said “you are doing fine and we are going to make it under the required time – now all that is left is to see how much under the time we will be. Let’s just run as much as we can – but don’t hurt ourselves.” We crossed a bridge at mile 23 and there were some very friendly people waiting on the other side with little cups of sorbet. Wow as that good! It was getting pretty warm by that time and the sorbet definitely hit the spot. Thank you Oak Knoll Inn for the great Sorbet! Another important thing that volunteers at the marathon provided were bananas and orange slices. I can’t recall at which mile markers they were at – but we had them at 3 or 4 stops. They helped tremendously as well. The last three miles were very pleasant and we really had the opportunity to enjoy them together.  There were several photographers along this portion and we hammed it up each time, running vigorously (at least in front of the cameraJ). During these last three miles, David did have some lower back pain and now we had traded places somewhat. I was there to encourage him and make sure he knew we were going to make it together.   It was now my turn to run/walk a bit ahead of him to give him the target to run after. This continues to work for both of us. I kept communicating with him to make sure he was okay and he replied that I should just keep going as fast as I could and he would make it. It’s funny how we both play our roles at different parts of these marathons – but two-gether we always make it! About a block from the finish line, we could hear the spectators cheering. One of the best feelings in the world is hearing the announcer saying as we were approaching the finish line together “Here comes David and Cynthia Hanna of Murfreesboro, Tennessee – you may know of them as Two-Gether Runners” and the announcer went on to talk about us for a few minutes and even gave out our website address. This is one of the moments that made all the training and time spent working towards this goal all worth it.   We finished the race in 5:46 making it in prior to the 6 hour cut-off! I cannot say enough about the staff and volunteers at that Napa Valley Marathon. This was an extremely well organized event that took safety very seriously. From the point that we were informed about the regulation to not wear headphones to seeing the many medical aid stations along the course as well as having all the law enforcement along the course making sure we were okay– we felt very comfortable that we were being looked after during this run.   Thank you Napa Valley Marathon – we truly enjoyed it. Memories:

  • All of the support and publicity from Mark Winitz and the Napa Valley Marathon! – Thank you Mark!
  • Spending time with my sister and brother in-law before the marathon at Hanna Winery- Thanks Ted at Hanna Winery for making our day a special day!
  • Keeping warm on the bus and hoping that they don’t make us get off and stand in the cold for an hour- Thank you Napa Valley Marathon!
  • Beautiful Scenery throughout the marathon course- We have never experienced such a beautiful course!
  • The challenges put before us and the ability to figure out how to overcome them together!
  • Having each other’s support the entire way!
  • Great fueling stations- especially the sorbet- Thanks to Oak Knoll Inn!
  • Realizing at mile 23 that I had not thought about missing my music the entire marathon until David said something about headphones.  I looked at him and laughed and said “I did not even think about this the entire race- is that not crazy?”  I guess my mind had other things to worry about!
  • Wearing our medals to the wineries after the marathon and sharing our stories with others!
  • Once Again, Crossing the Finish Line Holding Hands TWO-GETHER!

We highly recommend this Marathon to anyone considering running a marathon. It is a great beginner’s marathon and is well organized! It does fill up early so you will need to register early! Registration is now open- http://napavalleymarathon.org/ [CH1]<